The Veggie Email Chronicles
by TaintedAngel26
Summary: A correspondance between Bob and Larry on a new show. The show is my idea, and Phil Vischer probably hasn't even thought of it yet. In progress. Each chapter is a different email.
1. Filming in One Week

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these vegetables.

The Veggie Email Chronicles

To: Larry

From: Bob

Subject: Filming in One Week

Hi Larry. We're gonna start shooting "Pie Wars" next week in the studio—we're using mainly soundstages. Have you memorized your lines yet? I know you like to leave it last minute…by the way, there was some controversy on the last silly song—you know, _Monkey_? Yeah, I got a call from the SPCA, and they were worried if that lion's tail was _real_, and whether the monkey we used was hurt during filming. Just wanted to let you know. See you in a week.

From Bob.


	2. Re: Filming in One Week

To: Bob

From: Larry

Subject: Re: Filming in One Week

Hey Bob. Uh….I haven't exactly finished memorizing my lines. IT'S NOT MY FAULT! Cuke Skywalker has a lot of lines…I have the first scene down hard! I'm still trying to repair my dad's aardvark and chameleon…easier said than done. And, regarding the SPCA thing, I bought the tail at a Bavarian beer festival…there should be no problems. I was assured it was genuine!

From Larry.


	3. Are You Out of Your Senses?

From: Bob

To: Larry

Subject: Are You Out of Your Senses???

Larry, you only know the first scene? You have six days to have the entire script…including the silly song…flawlessly memorized! And you're the only one I would consider casting as Cuke! Please, try and work with me!!!

Oh, and one more thing: YOU BOUGHT THE TAIL AT A BAVARIAN BEER FESTIVAL??? That is the most far-fetched thing I've ever heard in my countertop days. First of all, how the heck did you get to Bavaria? Oh, did your famous astronaut dad drop you off in a space shuttle? Second, who in Bavaria—especially some kind of wandering beer merchant—would be in _legal_ possession of a genuine lion's tail??? Explanation needed!!

From Bob.


	4. Re: Are You Out of Your Senses?

From: Larry

To: Bob

Subject: Re: Are You Out of Your Senses???

In answer to your question, no, I am not out of my senses. And, if you don't want to cast me as Cuke, you can always cast Junior instead. He would probably play better next to Pa Grape, and I decided to audition for the next season of _Dancing With the Stars_. I'm famous enough.

Regarding Bavaria, I won a cereal box contest, and the prize was a trip to Bavaria for the beer festival. And the beer merchant said that he was a safari guide in his younger days. He even swore by some kind of sedimentary rock only found in his backyard! That's reliability for you.

By the way, we got a call from some big investor. He said he saw _Abe and the Amazing Promise_ and wants to set us up with a cereal company. We get to be on a Cinnamon Toast Crunch box!

From Larry.


	5. NO COMMENT!

From: Bob

To: Larry

Subject: NO COMMENT!

Actually, Larry, I AM going to comment. Since when do cereal companies offer trips to Bavaria as grand prizes? Isn't it usually Hawaii or NYC or something…appealing?

I have to say, the investor thing is good news, although being Cinnamon Toast Crunch's guest poster boy is a little lower than I expected. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Regarding Junior, you don't cast a five-year-old asparagus to play a nineteen-year-old cucumber. And Pa Grape has had issues with Junior ever since _Dave and the Giant Pickle_. I still don't know why. And they usually want you to have four limbs in order to go on _Dancing With the Stars_.

From Bob.


	6. Re: NO COMMENT!

From: Larry

To: Bob

Subject: Re: NO COMMENT!

Only the most elite cereal companies offer trips to exotic places like Bavaria, Bob. Break away from Lucky Charms. It was advertised, BY THE WAY, as the most famous beer festival in the world! _That's_ special!

I've learned half of the script…and I'm completely aware that we start filming in three days. There, I just saved you about fifteen seconds of typing. Even that is difficult without hands. And the _Dancing With the Stars_ thing? The audition form never said anything about limbs. The point is dancing, not semaphore or something. I'm not planning to break dance…in fact, I'm turning _The Hairbrush Song_ into an interpretive dance, featuring me in a Larryboy bathrobe!

From Larry.


	7. Time Is Ticking

From: Bob

To: Larry

Subject: Time Is Ticking…

Larry, I hate to rush an actor, but can you honestly memorize half a script in three days? You'd better be really fast…I think you should know that there is a BIG publicity buzz about this one, so I expect a _great_ performance out of you.

I contacted Madame Blueberry about costumes…she's having a little trouble with the spoontrooper outfits. You know the actors we hired for _Lord of the Beans_? They're too slim to fit in the costumes, so she needs another week. We'll film all of your scenes with Pa Grape on the planet Tatoonion first, then do all the Death Starfruit stuff. Just to let you know. See you in three.

From Bob.


	8. Re: Time Is Ticking

From: Larry

To: Bob

Subject: Re: Time is Ticking…

Hi Bob, I'm quite aware. OK, so is the sound stage for Tatoonion ready yet? I was talking to Jerry, and he said it should be done in a day or so—they just have to bring in the sand.

Are all the costumes ready? How about Mr. Lunt…were you having a little trouble with his thing? Because Madame Blueberry must have her hands full with that Darth Tater outfit.

I was talking to Archibald, and he says that the scallion dude—you know, the one who hasn't had a name since show 1—thinks that Mr. Nezzer should play Darth Tater. I mean, he's way taller.

The script is coming along well…but is Cuke supposed to be such a DOOFUS?

From Larry.


	9. Energency!

From: Bob

To: Larry

Subject: Emergency!

Larry, red alert from the sound stage! Let me sum up: just a few hours ago, Jerry was getting ready to spread the sand out on the sound stage. Well, he thought that he could get it done more quickly if he put the sand in a _snow blower_. You can guess the rest. The point is, we had to get the emergency crew to clean up the mess, which could take up to two days. Jerry got sand in his lungs and has been hospitalized, but the docs say he'll be OK…aaaah, one disaster after another!!!

To answer your questions, Madame Blueberry is almost done Darth Tater's costume. And the "scallion dude" can keep his mouth shut. We couldn't have a very fair duel between Pa Grape and Mr. Nezzer, could we? Regarding Cuke Skywalker, that's how he is in the original script. Maybe that's why die-hard fans…uh, _greatly dislike_ him.

Also, below is the main cast list…I thought you may want to know who you're playing with.

**MAIN CAST: **_**Pie Wars**_

Cuke Skywalker: Larry the Cucumber

Obi-Grape Kenobi: Pa Grape

Han Gourdo: Jimmy Gourd

Princess Petunia: Petunia Rhubarb

Darth Tater: Mr. Lunt

R2-D2: Junior Asparagus

C-3PO: Archibald Asparagus


	10. Re: Emergency!

From: Larry

To: Bob

Subject: Re: Emergency!

So, tomorrow's the big day, huh? Coolness. I'm all ready to go!

Too bad about the snow blower incident…but it's a good thing Jerry's OK! I don't think Jimmy would go on without his support.

Read the cast list…so, Petunia's playing the _girl_, is she? I hope you're not getting any ideas, Bob. AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT MY CHARACTER WAS HATED BY CULT FANS!!!

From Larry.


End file.
